Hello BTLers. Apologies for not being in touch over the last couple of days.
You might have expected me to have breathlessly commented on how brilliant it was that Johnson had managed to negotiate a deal, like the rest of the mainstream press.
You might have expected me to tell you that the end is nigh, that Brexit-day is upon us, and that we’re finally going to leave the EU, like the rest of the mainstream press.
You might have expected me to tell you, definitively, what will happen next, like the rest of the mainstream press.
But why bother?
It’s all bollocks. Utter, utter bollocks.
For the last three days, we have been waiting on the EU’s decision concerning Johnson’s offer of a deal. Everyone from The Telegraph to The Guardian to Buzzfeed to Twitter has had their own take with next to no real information to go on.
It’s all bollocks. Hearsay, speculation, and nothing else.
While rumours have emerged of Johnson conceding ground on Northern Ireland, it probably won’t get the support of the DUP, and so won’t pass through Parliament.
While rumours have emerged of the EU finally making way to let a new Withdrawal Agreement happen, they haven’t. They might have cleverly rewritten it to make the idiots who voted it down the last time reconsider, though.
Read into all of this what you will, but know this: anyone who says they know what’s happening is a liar. We will only know what is going to happen late this evening.
Until then, everything is mere speculation.
Stay tuned. This is going to get wild.